"Comedy Gold" is a song sung by the Jester and King Richard in the episode of the same name.

Galavant - Comedy Gold02:19

Galavant - Comedy Gold


Lines in blue are only heard on the soundtrack

King Richard: Neh, I'll stick with my first plan. Teach me to be funny so I can woo my wife.
Jester: Whatever you say My King.

Jester: Comedy is easy once you know the basics
Starting with the concept of surprise
King Richard: Right.
Jester: Take what folks think
Give it a wink
You try it on now for size

King Richard: Me?
Jester: Yeah.
King Richard:What's black and white, and red all over?
Jester: I don't know, sire. What is black and white, and red all over?
King Richard: Those guys, after I behead them. Huh, huh?

(King Richard pushes a guard off the balcony and we hear him scream.)
King Richard: He was surprised.

Jester: Comedy gold
King Richard: Really?
Jester: I'm tellin' ya it's comedy gold
King Richard: Yes!
Jester: You're killing it!
If that doesn't slay them...
King Richard: I'll murder ya cold!
Guard: Swear to God, it's comedy gold!

Jester: Well, our work here is done, so I'll just be going.
King Richard: Oh, we're just getting started.
Jester: Ah, right.
King Richard: Lesson two.

Jester: Lesson number two is also fundamental
Something that we call the Rule of Three
Set up the joke
Give it a stroke
Third time, and bam!
King Richard: Yes, now me!
Three serfs walk into a bar. The first serf orders a hot grog. The second serf orders a hot grog. And the third serf orders a hot grog. But he has no money or neither do the other two because they're serfs. Huh?

Jester: Comedy gold
King Richard: Yes, nailed it!
Jester: I promise you it's comedy gold
King Richard: Hilarious
Jester: The crowd will be rolling...
King Richard: Or heads will be rolled
Jester: Oh, not with all this comedy gold

King Richard: More, more.

Jester: Props can be a riot
Ethnic humor, can't deny it
Or a pratfall if it's properly applied
Depending on the viewer
Take it black or work it bluer
Or try an observational aside

King Richard: Have you ever noticed how lepers have pieces falling off of them? I mean, what's that all about?

Jester: Comedy gold
King Richard: Comedy gold
Both: I'm tellin' ya, it's comedy gold
King Richard: Comedy gold
Both: No doubt about it
Jester: Talent like yours, Sire
It never gets old
King Richard: And if it does...
You'll never get old, because you'll be dead when I execute you. Get it?
Jester: Got it.
King Richard: Good.

Jester and King Richard: Gonna be killer
Gonna be ace
Folks dyin' of laughter
All over the place!
King Richard: And if I get desperate...
Jester: A pie in the face!
King Richard: I dare you.
Jester and King Richard: Tellin' you it's comedy gold!

NOTE: King Richard and the Jester have the following verbal exchange after the song:
King Richard: You are a wonderful teacher! Perhaps now I will finally be able to satisfy my wife the same way you have.
Jester: *looks guilty, thinking of his illicit activities with the Queen*
King Richard: *beat* My God! We've got a strange relationship.

As the two walk off in separate directions, we hear one final echo of the last line of the song. Jester and King Richard: Tellin' you it's comedy gold!


"Lords of the Sea"
Song Next:
"Togetherness Reprise"

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