"If I Could Share My Life with You" is a song sung by Chef and Gwynne from Completely Mad...Alena.
Lyrics[]
Lines in blue are only heard on the soundtrack
Chef: If I could share my life with you
Just think how happy we'd be
We'd share a hovel built for two
Complete with vermin for three
We could while away each hopeless day
Comparing open sores
Yes, life would blow
But much less, though
If I could share mine with yours
Gwynne: But, I can't. It's impossible!
If I could share my life with you
Chef: Admit it, it would be nice
Gwynne: We'd share one cot, one chamber pot
Chef: Plus trench mouth, tapeworms, and lice
In the freezing night
We'd cuddle tight
And sip some rancid wine
Both: And life won't taste like human waste
If you could share yours with mine
Chef: We would have a dozen kids
Gwynne: And maybe one won't die
Chef: And the plague
Gwynne: The runs
Chef: Invading Huns
Both: Just think how time would fly
If you could share your life with me
I'd cherish every foul breath
Gwynne: The filth
Chef: The rot
Gwynne: The leprosy
Both: The painful, lingering death
Thank the Lord our life expectancy
Is merely thirty two
Chef: Yes, it would be sweet misery
If I could share it with you.
Gwynne: Yeah, it might be sweet misery
Both: To share what's left with you
Previous: "Hey, Hey, We're the Monks Reprise" |
Song | Next: "I Love You As Much As Someone Like Me Can Love Anyone" |