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"The Happiest Day of Your Life" is a song sung by Chester Wormwood, Barry, King of Valencia, Queen of Valencia, Jester, Isabella and the Valencian Guards in Aw, Hell, the King.

Happiest Day of My Life02:27

Happiest Day of My Life

Lyrics

Isabella: Mother, I may have agreed to get married, but I'm not going to be happy about it.
Wormwood: Oh, but, my dear, I have so much planned for you. Trust me, this is going to be fun.
First, we get to choose invitations
Make a list of distant relations
Then we can decide on bridesmaids
You'll need about twenty
Isabella: You're joking? Tell me he's joking. Please?
Wormwood: Next, we’ll try on dozens of dresses
Settle on a 'do for your tresses
And we're well on our way
To the happiest day of your life
Isabella: Right, so, if we are just – yeah.

Queen of Valencia: We’ll pick your florist
Wormwood: La, la, la, la, la, la
Queen of Valencia: And then select a manicurist
Wormwood: La, la, la, la, la, la
King of Valencia: You'll want to register at all the top stalls
Within the town walls
Wormwood: No doubt
Isabella: Kill me now.

Wormwood: Next on the checklist
We'll get you braceleted and necklaced
Guards: Just wait and see, it's going to be
Like the wedding we've always dreamed about
Isabella: Please, God, make it stop.
Queen of Valencia: Then we'll have to spruce up the venue
King of Valencia: Figure out a 30-course menu
Isabella: This is insane.
Jester: Find a guy to draw some pictures
Wormwood: You're going to want plenty

All(except Isabella): La, la, la la la, La – la – la
King of Valencia: Plus, we must audition some bands, too
Queen of Valencia: Choose the song you'll do your first dance to
Isabella: The whole stupid cliché
All(except Isabella): Of the happiest day of your life
Isabella: Ugh. I can't believe this.

Wormwood: And upon your head
All (except Isabella): La, la, la, la, la, la
Wormwood: Glowing right above your forehead
All (except Isabella): La, la, la, la, la, la
Wormwood: You will wear this little present from me
Enchanted to steal your soul.
All(except Isabella): Unh!
Wormwood: And once it's on you
All(except Isabella): La, la, la, la, la, la
Wormwood: It will cast a spell upon you
All(except Isabella): La, la, la, la, la, la
Wormwood: You'll do everything I tell you to do
And ruling through you
I'll seize full command
Get rid of the prince
Install my own men
Take over the throne
'Till I'm in complete...
Nothing to see here. Move along.

(Wormwood puts the tiara on Isabella)
Isabella: What are you all standing around for?
We got an event to break ground for
There's so much to do
Guess who is becoming a wife (squeals excitedly)
True, my husband's only eleven
Still, the wedding's going to be heaven
Go and get my bouquet
It's the happiest day of my life

Queen of Valencia: Cousin Henry will pay
King of Valencia: It's the happiest day of my life
Wormwood: Now you're under my sway
It’s the happiest day of my life
All: La, la, la, la, la, la. Unh!

Alternate Version

In the episode at the end of Wormwood's power-mad rant, he tells the King and Queen, "Nothing to see here. Move along." On the soundtrack, he breaks into nervous laughter at this point and says, "I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?" Additionally, several of Isabella's spoken lines were omitted from the soundtrack version.

Previous:
"If I Were a Jolly Blacksmith"
Song Next:
"Sid's Lullaby"

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